Has There Ever Been a More Beautiful Funeral? A Gem from 'Yorkshire Pudding'

Participation in funeral rites is one of the most powerful and healing things we can do and witness when we lose someone we love. Individual participation can take the form of placing a note in the casket, sprinkling ashes on the sea or selecting music for the service. Community participation can take the form of a wake or a public procession. However, as this following excerpt from the 'Yorkshire Pudding' blog shows so eloquently, there is nothing quite like engaging in the hard physical work of digging out a place in the earth and carrying a loved one to their place of rest, or the timeless gift of sharing a word or song with family and friends at the grave. My heartfelt thanks to YP, for allowing me to share the beautiful story of his brother Paul’s burial in County Clare, Ireland.

Paul

We buried him in an isolated rural cemetery that is known locally as "The Island" - probably because that little hummock of a hill was once surrounded by swampy ground. As is the tradition, only male family members carried the coffin. Feeling his weight on my right shoulder was a wonderful discomfort.

He had known each of the gravediggers. They had prepared a hole some five feet deep, snug against the limestone boundary wall with a huge pile of Clare soil beside it in what has been one of western Ireland's driest years.

Ned Crosby, the priest, who also knew Paul personally, said the customary religious words by the grave. And then everybody applauded my dead brother. By the stunted hawthorn bush where an ancient chapel once stood, musicians played familiar tunes on fiddles, concertinas and pipes with Paul's daughter, Katie, accompanying on her wooden flute.

All was quiet and then an old friend called Michael stood on a rock with his chin raised slightly to the sky and with great passion recited in Irish Gaelic a famous poem called "Pearse's Lament". Roughly translated, it begins:-

Grief on the death, it has blackened my heart:

lt has snatched my love and left me desolate,

Without friend or companion under the roof of my house

But this sorrow in the midst of me, and I keening.

As I walked the mountain in the evening

The birds spoke to me sorrowfully,

The sweet snipe spoke and the voiceful curlew

Relating to me that my darling was dead.

At the end Michael wove in some few Spanish words which connected Ireland's freedom struggle with the battles of Spanish republicans before the second world war - "Viva la quinta brigada! No passaran! Adelante!"

People began to drift away. Some stood amongst the graves exchanging thoughts about Paul. I took a handful of earth from the pile and threw it on top of his coffin. Soon the gravediggers removed the flowers and began their timeless task, quietly filling in the hole where Paul will rest forever - well not really Paul but his human remains - that same wax model I reflected on in "Hands".

It was the best of days and the worst of days. Has there ever been a more beautiful funeral? I doubt it. I was filled with pride for my lost brother who was so loved by the people of Clare - the old and the young, rich and poor, intellectual and moronic, pub landlords and priests. Although he was only sixty two, he lived his life to the full with such goodness in his soul. By far, I am not the only one who will never forget him.

'YP'

All photos and text used by permission. For more wonderful Yorkshire Pudding, visit the blog at http://beefgravy.blogspot.com/

The Interment of A. Ramana

March 2010

Richard Clarke, a spiritual seeker, ex-patriot living in India, and a dear friend of The Daily Undertaker, has graciously shared his experiences with us twice before, in the preparation of an Indian village funeral car, and more recently, sharing the story of a friend's cremation and all the wonderful rites that accompanied it in 'Sarasvati's Ashes'. Nothing has prepared me, however, for the wonder I experienced in reading his account of a Western Holy Man's interment, and the many moving rituals that were performed in memory of this man, A. Ramana, formerly known as Mr. Dee W. Trammell. What is most moving to me in the story and photographs, is the reverence, care, and love shown to this man's remains and the participation of friends and loved ones in rituals that are at once completely new to me, and yet, universally understandable and resonant. Richard's posts on the rituals surrounding this man's passing reminds me of what is important in funerals, and why I continue my work as an undertaker. I encourage my readers to visit the original posts, The Interment of A. Ramana into his Samadhi, and The Shadra of A. Ramana in Tiruvannamalai for many more incredible photos and a more complete explanation of these rituals.

Although most people are cremated in India, revered spiritual masters such as A. Ramana are buried in an position of meditation inside a brick lined vault. The bodies of such masters are considered to be temples, and after burial, temples are indeed built on top of their graves. Apparently, only four people of Western origins have been honored in this way in the Tiruvannamalai area.

After having sat in state, as shown in photo at the beginning of this post, A. Ramana, is placed on a platform, and is anointed with a series of meaningful substances including rosewater, milk, honey, turmeric, sandalwood and ash. After each substance is poured over him, he is ritually washed with water.

Ritual washing is an important practice in Hebrew, Moslem, and Christian traditions as well. In early American times, neighbors and relatives performed this ritual. Today, for many Americans, Funeral Directors perform this task, along with embalming. Whether it takes on a religious significance or not, as a funeral director, I see it as a final act of caring for the dead. We all die. Why not take the time to bathe the dead before they are laid to rest?

Following this, he is dried and dressed in white cloths, placed in a large fabric bag, and lowered along with the platform, by ropes into the grave. Throughout the whole process, there is a great deal of chanting, incense burning, as well as participation and observation by a large group of friends and associates.

The bag in which A. Ramana was placed, as well as the brick lined vault, are filled, layer by layer with holy leaves, flowers, sand, camphor and ash. Inch by inch this grave is filled with these layers of substances intended to preserve the body and express reverence and tender feelings. Throughout the process his head and body are re-adjusted to remain in the proper position.

At this point, his head is nearly covered, and a long piece of bamboo is used to keep track of where his head is, as it is believed that the spiritual energy of A. Ramana will flow out from his head. This is vitally important to the future construction of the temple above the vault.

Ten days later, this altar and lingam has been constructed above the vault. The following is an excerpt from Richard's blog post:

In India there are two main death ceremonies, one done on the day of the death or the day after, and then a Shradha, a ceremony where food is offered, usually occurring 10 – 14 days after the death. I suspect that one reason for this ceremony is so people who were unable to come immediately after the passing of the body are able to come and join the rites.

The Shradha consists of an elaborate pooja, with people close to the deceased playing key parts in the pooja, and then a food offering. If the Shradha is held for a villager, the food offering would be to the crows (symbolizing the spirits of ancestors). For a holy man, the food is usually offered to sadhus. This is what was done for A. Ramana. In a Shradha for a villager, the key role would be played by the person’s son. With A. Ramana, this role was played by two key people in his life in India: Jan, who runs the Tiruvannamalai AHAM ashram, and Vivian, A. Ramana’s personal attendant for the last several years.

Friends and associates gather prior to the shradha.

Similar to the anointment and washing of A. Raman's remains, the lingam is anointed with a series of substances and washed with water after each one. Those closest to A. Ramana are physically involved in each step. The milk, turmeric, fruit, rosewater, ash, honey, etc., and water flow through their hands and then onto the lingam, which is positioned directly above A. Ramana's head. Next, and incredible series of flower wreaths, photos and fruit are placed around the lingam.

After the shradha, comes the food offering. I can't look at this photo without remembering some of the countless funeral lunches I have attended. In my community, the meal is mostly about fellowship and sharing stories. In this part of the world the emphasis is providing hospitality to others and gaining their blessings. In addition to the meal, these holy men are honored with flowers, and given clothing and money on behalf of the deceased.

Following the food offering, those attending the ceremonies go their separate ways, but first, many stop to pay their respects once more.

Finally, from Richard's post, here are a few words written on the occasion of A. Ramana's death by someone close to him. I think that they speak beautifully about not just the phenomenon of death, but about our connection as humans to one another. No matter what our culture, our traditions or our spiritual perspective, in our humanity and caring for each other, we are all the same.

Everything is ended!

The wave has merged with the Ocean,


proving and assuring – once again –

that the Ocean alone exists


and that waves are part &


parcel of the Ocean!

Sarasvati's Ashes

1/13/10 

A van, adorned with flowers carries Sarasvati and friends to the cremation grounds

It is my pleasure to share with you the experiences of Richard Clarke, a spiritual seeker and expat living in Tiruvannamalai, India. Richard writes beautifully about his experiences observing, and engaging in Indian village life. In November 2008, I shared photos from Richard's blog 'Living in the Embrace of Arunachala' documenting the preparation of a funeral vehicle. Recently, Richard wrote to me that one of his fellow seekers and expats passed away, and he wished to share his experience with the readers of The Daily Undertaker. On his blog, he has documented the experience from death, through preparations for cremation, the procession, the cremation, the gathering of cremated remains, all the rituals involved in each step, and finally the scattering of the remains. I have included photos and excerpts from his posts, and I strongly encourage you to follow the links and read the full story yourselves. There is a beauty of completeness, affirmation of life, acceptance, and generous, meaningful participation in this story, that may change your view about the rituals surrounding death. It has certainly enriched my understanding.

"In India, when this happens, events move fast. There is a most powerful tradition that the body is to be cremated that day. So I, accompanied by Rajan, our driver, the person who gave Sarasvati the most support over the last few months, had to go to the police and to government offices to properly register the death. Meanwhile, Carol, helped by other of Sarasvati’s friends, waited at her apartment to prepare the body."

Rickshaw Drivers, strangers to the deceased, stop their work to help with the cremation rituals.

"I have to again say a few words about the rickshaw drivers. These men are thought to be “low class” by many Indians and Westerners. What we saw this day was how they stepped in and took on the role of family to Sarasvati, a Westerner with no family here. They did this readily and freely, without asking for anything. They were loving and unstinting in their care for Sarasvati on this day. I offer them my deepest thanks. "

Taking on the role of eldest son, Richard lights the pyre

The cremated remains are later gathered from the ashes of the pyre.

Scattering the remains in the river.

"I stop for a bit, to say a last farewell to the body of a friend and fellow spiritual seeker, Sarasvati.

I then look once more at the peaceful and beautiful waters here. My thought is that I too may be blessed to die with Arunachala, and maybe this is where the last remains of this body will be placed."

Now we can go home, take our morning baths and eat breakfast."

The rituals and practices described and pictured in Richard's account may seem foreign and strange to us, and many of the procedures, such as fueling the fire with tires, kerosene and cow dung, would not necessarily be acceptable in the West. However, what translates beautifully is the power of the participation of friends in the rituals surrounding death and disposition. In Richard's account we experience the fullness and completion of the necessary tasks that bring us from the experience of death, back to life. I would argue strongly that those necessary tasks include ritual just as much as disposition, and participation in each is powerfully healing for those who grieve.

For the full posts and many more photos, please visit:

Our Friend Sarasvati Attains Mahasamadhi on Vaikunta Ekadasi

and

Taking Sarasvati’s ashes to the river

Participation is powerful: Part 1

Participation is powerful. Often, children lack an opportunity to truly participate in the funeral services for their loved ones. When I was 8 and my brother 9, our father died after a few months of illness. Our mother was insightful enough to arrange for us to participate with readings during the service, and used our artwork for the cover of the memorial folders handed out at the services. At a time when we all feel helpless, children feel this even more. I encourage families with children to find a way for them to participate. Placing pictures in the casket, reading a poem, carrying a flower- there are many age appropriate ways for kids to be an active part of memorial and funeral services. Children feel the same things we do, they just have a harder time communicating them. Their drawings and actions can speak for them and help them along the path of healing.

for more on this topic, visit Participation is Powerful: Part 2, The Journey

"I wish I'd spoken at my father's funeral"

Here is some great advice on giving eulogies from Olivia Mitchell. As she mentions, you only get one chance to do this, so don't pass it up if at all possible. A professional oration is never expected, but an honest, personal reflection can make a funeral meaningful and healing.

http://www.blueq.com/shop/item/114-productId.125837399_114-catId.117440545.html

I wish I’d spoken at my father’s funeral
October 26, 2008 by Olivia Mitchell
Being able to express yourself publicly at important ceremonies and celebrations - funerals, weddings, christenings and birthdays - is one of the greatest gifts.
My father died 10 years ago. I was going to speak at his funeral. But when we arrived at the church all I could see were the distinguished, CEO-looking men in the audience (my father was an international businessman). I felt intimidated and chose not to speak. That’s something I regret.
I’ll never turn down an invitation to give a eulogy again.
Don’t make the same mistake I made at my father’s funeral. If you’re given an opportunity to speak at a funeral or other family celebration, think of your regret if you don’t express yourself and your love for that person. On one side you’ll have your anxiety urging to stay quiet. On the other, you have your love for that person that that you would like to express publicly. Focus on the love, not the anxiety.

http://www.recess.ufl.edu/transcripts/2006/0223.shtml

Take the pressure offHere is some advice for taking the pressure off yourself as you prepare a eulogy or a speech for a family celebration.
1. You don’t have to provide an outline of their entire life. The best eulogies are a snapshot or series of snapshots of the person’s life. Comprehensive accounts of a person’s life are best left to written tributes and obituaries.
2. You don’t have to do a ton of research or talk to lots of other people. Give your own recollections and your own perspective about the person. In a forum thread on giving a eulogy the most repeated advice was to share your personal memories.
3. You don’t have to lie. Every person has some flaws. Don’t feel you have to avoid them. Be compassionately honest about the person - don’t idealize them. From the eulogy forum thread comes this beautifully written thought:
In the wan light of grief, annoying habits become endearing eccentricities; it feels good to honor the person who really lived, and not some idealized version that never existed.
4. You don’t have to make people laugh. Moments of levity and humour are fine, and even welcome during a funeral service. However, if humour doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t force it. A trivial detail which people can relate to is often all that is required:
The only thing I remember about my grandmother’s eulogy was the priest describing how he could always tell she was in line for the Eucharist, because he could hear the tinkling of the armful of bracelets she perpetually wore. It was such a wonderful detail that it captured so much about her — her faith, her style, her position in her church. It was a lovely detail and I remember how much we all smiled and laughed when the priest said it — a bit of joy in the midst of our grief.
5. You don’t have to get it exactly right. The exact words that you use and whether they come out right or not - is not important. This is not a business presentation. Nobody’s taking notes.
6. You don’t have to have a complicated structure. Here’s an easy formula for your eulogy or speech. Think of three qualities the person has. Talk about each quality with a short story or anecdote to illustrate each one.

-for the complete text visit http://www.speakingaboutpresenting.com/presentation-philosophy/funeral-speech-eulogy/

Making Cemeteries Relevant, Mountain View Cemetery, Vancouver

Previous installments of this series have explored the importance of cemeteries for the maintenance of emotional and historic bonds, ways that cemeteries have adapted to the changing needs and values of families, and the ways that art and cultural traditions enrich the cemetery. Part 5, will take a look at the exciting revitalization taking place at Mountain View Cemetery in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Owned and operated by the City of Vancouver since 1886, Mountain View Cemetery is one of the oldest cemeteries in the metropolitan area. The cemetery is made up of 106 acres of land and features beautiful views of the city and coastal mountains. With over 90,000 grave sites and 145,000 remains interred already, this property had run out of grave sites and was in danger of losing its future.

Following an ambitious revitalization program including an award winning construction project, the cemetery now has a renewed involvement with its community, and for the first time in over 20 years, new spaces are available for purchase. This investment has given Mountain View back it’s future, and showcased the importance of its history. Cemetery Manager, Glen Hodges has graciously agreed to discuss the changes at Mountain View, a wonderful example of making cemeteries relevant.

Pat McNally: In 2000, the city of Vancouver launched a plan to revitalize the historic Mountain View Cemetery. Now, 10 years later, the cemetery is a model for what can be done to make a cemetery relevant. The team at Mountain View has created wonderful new spaces, has engaged the community in activities and discussions, has showcased contemporary arts and facilitated the appreciation of the historical significance of the cemetery and its residents.

What was this process like, and what made it so successful?

Glen Hodges: The process was many things including long, challenging, invigorating, scary, exhilarating, anxious, difficult, etc. Maybe it can best be summarized in one word – monumental (pun intended). The success of our process relied on a number of factors including the many people with a keen interest in making it a success, the City of Vancouver’s desire to be a leader in many things that they do (planning, urban development, the environment etc.), our high cremation rate (>75%) and certainly the unique market conditions in Vancouver – cemetery space here has a higher market value than in most of the rest of the country.

The idea of a cemetery chapel is nothing new, but looking at your Celebration Hall, there is obviously a qualitative difference between this space and traditional chapels. What were the ideas behind Celebration Hall, and how has the space worked out for you so far?

The idea from the very beginning was to create a ‘sacred space’. We were determined to build a facility that was not like any other funeral chapel. The architects and I toured many facilities and were driven to create something that was not ‘residential’ in style or scale. We saw many local facilities that were just like a nice living room - only bigger. We wanted our space to be distinctly different – high ceilings, simple, clean and with very controlled views and courtyards. The result is a very private, contemplative place in the middle of a large active cemetery.

Celebration Hall accommodates screenings and concerts as well as memorial services. What role do you think the arts have to play in a cemetery environment?

I think the arts can, and should, play a much larger part in cemeteries, funerals and other aspects of death - and life. Artisans clearly played a significant part on the commemorative aspects of cemeteries in the past – I am thinking of the monuments that were carved by hand by craftsmen with years of experience. Historically local artists in the community would have participated in may other ways as well – singing, providing music, arranging flowers, and creating memorial items for the funeral or for remembrance after. We have slipped away from these informal community resources to more commercial variations. The experience I have had in the last 6 years with local Vancouver artists has been eye-opening – they are a tremendous resource in ways I never even imagined; providing live acoustic music on the harp, violin, or marimba to vocals, hand made urns, memorial lanterns and shrines.

At your Cemetery Forum in April, you sponsored and participated in very important discussions about palliative care, death and dying, the generational importance of cemeteries, and the arts. Please tell us about this forum and what its goals were.

Since the early planning of the Celebration Hall there were ideas of hosting talks that were directly (or even in-directly) related to the cemetery. This symposium was our first attempt to do just that – bring people to the cemetery to learn about death and dying. We started with a thought provoking video about home funerals in the US. This was a great way to jump right in to the some of the very technical challenges of dealing with a deceased person. The morning sessions then focused on providing basic information on what hospices, funeral homes and cemeteries provide. It was definitely not presented to be a sales pitch but more along the lines of “things you should know and consider before you are faced with the inevitable”. The afternoon sessions built upon the basic knowledge and expanded people’s thoughts toward green burial options and the role of artists in meaning and ritual.

You have made a public commitment to increase outreach projects to the community. Do you think that Funeral directors and Cemeterians have a responsibility to inform and educate the communities they work with?

Cemeteries are historically excellent at establishing bylaws and rules about what you cannot do in the cemetery. These are all nicely documented and some cemeteries even post certain excerpts on signs within their property. However, I think we have great room for growth in providing meaningful and important information to our communities before they become clients or visitors. It is easy to inform the people that we come in contact with directly – the pre-need person or maybe the one or two family members making at-need arrangements – but the challenge is getting information to the other people who attend the cemetery service. Maybe even more importantly, what are we doing to reach out to the people who think they don’t need a cemetery – “just scatter my ashes”? How do we reach them so they can consider the impact of their choice on the friends and family that will be left to grieve after their death?

Vancouver enjoys a great cultural diversity, and your cemetery reflects this richness. Many of the ethnic ‘neighborhoods’ have developed organically within the cemetery over the years, but are there any programs or initiatives to celebrate various traditions or spaces created to appeal to different groups at the cemetery?

This was a large part of the thrust behind our first Night For All Souls event in 2005. The artist who came up with the concept, Paula Jardine, was very insightful in borrowing from many cultures and religions, primarily with regard to their various traditions around All Saints Day, All Souls Day and The Day of The Dead. She was very deliberate in trying to create an environment at Mountain View Cemetery that shared some of these other traditions with the public but also in a way that allowed the public to bend, twist and borrow from those traditions the things that resonated with them and then to make them their own. She summed it up greatly the day after the inaugural event when she said that in effect, we were making our own (new) culture! Or at the very least, new cultural traditions.

I see that the cemetery has an accommodating policy allowing dogs on leashes. This policy is communicated by some humorous signs! Can you share the story behind these signs and your policy with us?

The position on dogs is primarily a City of Vancouver position – except for designated off-leash parks dogs must be on a leash and controlled by their owner at all times. The cemetery started seeing a large increase in the amount of dogs – especially off leash dogs – in the mid 1990’s. This was a decade after the sale of graves was ceased in 1986 and at a time when the City was considering selling the site to private operators. Once the local dog owner population had established the cemetery as their ‘unofficial’ off-leash park we had a struggle trying to get that genie back in the bottle. About a year ago one of the management staff and her husband had an encounter with a less than cordial dog owner one day. Her husband was aware of a neighbouring municipality that erected ‘camel crossing’ signs in an area prone to speeding - in an effort to slow traffic. The sign worked. He applied the same logic (and humour) to our off-leash dog problem and our no elephant signs were the result. We sent a complimentary sign to a writer from the local paper and ended up with two follow up articles supporting our case and assisting with the communication of our problem.

Bicycles are an issue at many cemeteries these days. Some administrators argue that cemeteries are not playgrounds or thoroughfares, but others go so far as to encourage the bicycling community to bring their activity in to the cemetery. What are your thoughts and policies on bicycles in the cemetery?

Bicycle use in Vancouver is a very current topic. For many years Vancouver has had designated “Greenways” throughout the city – residential roadways that have been partially closed or ‘calmed’ with measures such as speed bumps or roundabouts – that are intended for bike use. One of these ‘greenways’ bisects the cemetery and a result we have a large amount of bicycle traffic through our property. Cycling, jogging, walking – all of these activities are encouraged uses of the cemetery. My concern has always been more with the person’s intent rather than their action. If they are not meaning or causing any harm or disruption I see no concern with cyclists cruising through the cemetery.

Coming up later in July, the cemetery is hosting an Open House featuring a variety of tours, activities and presentations of cultural and historical interest. I applaud you for involving your community in this way. What do you see as the benefits of this involvement – both for the cemetery and for the community?

Much like the symposium on Death and Dying we hosted earlier this year, the Open House is another opportunity for us to invite the public to the cemetery for something other than a funeral. It’s a chance for us to show off our facilities, create a light atmosphere with acoustic music and engage the public to find out more about this mysterious (not-so-scary) place that they all avoid entering. Last year we advertised people to bring a picnic, this year our Artist in Residence will be helping visitors build small kites that will fly without running and with very little wind. I suspect some people may even make their kites a memorial to someone they have lost. We will also be opening up our works yard for people to take a peek at some of the equipment we use to maintain our 106-acre site. This is also a great opportunity for the field staff to engage with the public and share some of their knowledge and expertise. It allows the field staff to more fully participate and share in the success of our redeveloped cemetery. Since we are not open on weekends it also allows us the opportunity to provide additional service to people who cannot come by during weekday hours. The more we can do to make our cemetery a place for the living today, the better chance they will see us as an important place for their loved ones in the future. We want to make it comfortable for them now, so it can provide comfort to them in the future.

Part of the City’s goal in revitalizing the cemetery was certainly an effort to increase the lifespan of interments and allow for new revenues to finance maintenance of the grounds. A result of this was adding new space for cremation interments. What design attributes and decisions went into the creation of these spaces?

Much like the buildings, our design team was not satisfied with the examples that existed in the market place. We set out to create our own vision for what columbaria could (or should) be. This vision also extended to the surroundings that support the cremation spaces. You cannot just purchase a columbaria and plop it down in the middle of an area and call it complete. Well, I guess you can - because that’s what many cemeteries do. However, if you spend some effort on the context or the landscape surrounding the columbaria, you can amplify the impact and really make it an attraction. In our design we pursued a number of objectives and ideals. We were extremely impeded by a lack of space. The cemetery had essentially run out of room in 1986 when graves sales were ceased. We were now left trying to close a few remaining roadways and squeeze these new developments in between the existing graves. Our measurements came down to the millimeter in some cases. At the same time, we were very conscientious about density. Cramming every little last piece of space and converting it to a ‘saleable’ product would negatively impact the entire development and detract from the cemetery – not add to it. With very little space, and almost no public space within the cemetery, we identified two areas where we could actually create some public spaces – with no interment options encroaching the areas. We ended up with reworking an old abandoned fountain in to a much larger fountain and created an entirely new water feature on the other end of the area. We were also careful to create many varied physical and visual entity points throughout the plan so that you never had a sense of being walled, trapped or hidden. Finally, we set out to solve three challenges we had with most of the prevalent columbaria design at the time: why are the niches always arranged in straight rows and columns just like a checkerboard? There must be a better way to attach the niche panels that using the outer rosets? And families clearly want to leave something at the cemetery when they come but on columbaria, unless you glue a bunch of vases to the outside, people are left to clutter all their items at the bottom or else trying to tape/glue/wedge or insert them in-between the niche panels making the whole place look cluttered and messy. In the end we came up with our own design that uses no rosets or outer fasteners to secure the niche panels, has the colums of niches offset – much like the way you would build a stone or brick wall and our design incorporated shelves under each row of niches so visitors would have a place to put their flower, pebble or other trinket when the came to visit.

Are there any cemeteries that you look to for inspiration?

Any cemetery I ever visit is an inspiration in some way. I can get ideas on things I like and things I would never do from any cemetery. When I first started managing a cemetery in 1996 I met Hans Seidenthal. Hans ran the municipal cemetery in Regina, Saskatchewan (my home town) for probably more than 30 years. Hans told me the first question he always asks another cemetery operator is “Show me your mistakes.” When I asked him why he said “So I don’t repeat them.” That has always stuck with me. Sometimes you can learn a lot from what you don’t like at other cemeteries. For positive inspiration the design team put me on to Carlos Scarpa’s cemetery work in Italy. If I am looking for artistic inspiration I am very envious of the work of the Forest Hills Educational Trust in Boston. On a more local level, my colleague Stephen Olson at Royal Oak Burial Park on Vancouver Island is my guide.

What do you see in the future for Mountain View? Are there any new projects on the horizon for this wonderful space?

The future for Mountain View is a steady climb from a forgotten, almost neglected site, to an innovative, thriving and sustainable cemetery that is engaged with the public. We are currently working on some customizable family columbaria units that will enable a family to vary the layout of the niches, choice of stone, incorporate cast glass elements, basalt shelves, built in planters and poetic verse, etc. We are also going to have our first official public art sculpture erected in the next 12 to 18 months. It will be a commemorative piece commissioned by a local ethnic group. I am still trying to expand our online interment listing (~150,000 records and growing) to include links to the marker/headstone image (>50,000 images taken and linked so far- but none online yet…) Oh… and our walking tour in August will be done on bikes!

That sounds wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!

  For more information about Mountain View, please visit their site at the City of Vancouver, their YouTube Channel , the Calgary Herald Story on their Cemetery Forum, and the website of Artist in Residence, Paula Jardine.

To read the previous posts in this series, visit:

• Making Cemeteries Relevant: Feng Shui in Minnesota
• Making Cemeteries Relevant: Part 2, Innovation in Toronto
• Bicycles and Cemeteries: Making Cemeteries Relevant Part 3
• Columbarium Art Galleries and Cemetery Sculpture Gardens: Making Cemeteries Relevant, Part 4

originally posted July 2010

The Death and Burial of Poor Cock Robin

Here are some enchanting illustrations by H.L. Stephens from his 1865 Children's Book, The Death and Burial of Poor Cock Robin.  In it, various animals of the field and sky take part in the physical tasks of laying their friend to rest.  Death and participation in funerals was a commonplace in 1865, and while no one would wish the morbidity rates of the 19th Century on the children of today, the levels of acceptance and participation  in funeral tasks are enviable.  

Who'll make the shroud?
I, said the Beetle,
with my thread and needle,
I'll make the shroud.

Who'll dig his grave?
I, said the Owl,
with my pick and shovel,
I'll dig his grave.

All the birds of the air
fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,
when they heard the bell toll
for poor Cock Robin.

For the complete set of images and text, visit 50Watts.com

Participation is Powerful: Part 2, The Journey

About 200,000 Hindus make two-month pilgrimage through Kashmiri Mountains - MSNBC

A handicapped Hindu makes his pilgrimage to the sacred Amarnath Caves, one of the most revered of Hindu shrines on June 29 near Baltal, India. More than 5,000 Hindu devotees, braving sub-zero temperatures, began the hike over glaciers and along paths overhanging gorges to reach the sacred Amarnath cave housing an ice stalagmite, a stylized phallus worshiped by Hindus as a symbol of the god Shiva.

Pilgrimages and rituals involving physical exertion and sacrifice are common to all the world's cultures, and across all religious traditions.  Why this commonality?  Certainly adherents have a notion that being nearer to the holy will benefit them in some way, but I believe there is more to it.  

The journey itself, with its rigors and privations provides an opportunity for pilgrims to physically play out the story of their place in the cosmos, their relationship with the divine.  We may ponder, from home, the ice stalagmite lingam in a far off cave, worshiping it as a representation of the divine, but without the strenuous journey to visit it, we do not experience our relationship with Shiva in the same way.  The ice lingam is the same with or without us, but we don't really experience it without feeling the strain in our bodies and the relief of arrival.

So what does this have to do with funerals?  Everything.  The pallbearer feels the weight of the casket bearing her loved one and the abstract ideas of death and her love for the deceased become tangible.  The eulogist struggles to put the impact of his loved one on their family and community into words, and in doing so, he understands that impact in much greater depth.    Drivers and passengers in the cortege pass through familiar streets in a much different manner and are reminded that this day is not like all others because a life impacted others and the passing of that life is an important event.

Yes, we can stay at home and merely think about the deceased and their family.  It is a bother and a strain to attend, an inconvenience to dress in a special way.  It is uncomfortable to experience the emotions that are brought out by participating in these activities.  By participating though, by physically acting out our part, we feel our relationship and place in the rhythm of life as a physical reality. Our thoughts and feelings take form, and we can deal with them in a positive and meaningful way. 

for more on this topic, visit Participation is powerful: Part 1