Don't Bury me in a Suit!

www.kansan.com/photos/2008/mar/27/2185/

When we picture a funeral in our mind, or see one portrayed in a movie, its usually a pretty formal affair. The men are all in dark suits and the ladies are in long black dresses. For better or worse, the reality is often very different. At many funerals and especially visitations, very casual clothing has become the norm, and that's why I am often surprised when families mention so sheepishly that they would rather dad not wear a suit in his casket.

Personally, I think this situation is completely backwards from the way it should be. When we attend the funeral services for someone else, it's about them, and we should dress respectfully. We don't need to necessarily go out and buy something new, but if we own something nice, we should by all means go to the trouble of wearing it to the funeral and visitation.

http://homepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~clanboyd/cassidy.htm

When we are at our own funeral, it's about us, and if we never liked to be in anything but our bib overalls, that's what we should be buried in. There are some people who would never want to be caught dead in a suit. If they are alive, they can dress up out of respect for the occasion, but when they die, don't let them be caught dead in that suit.

http://www.archives.gov.on.ca/english/exhibits/agriculture/big/big_81_farmer_portrait.htm

I've buried people in their bib overalls, jeans, military and athletic uniforms (they often don't fit like they did 40 years ago), cowboy duds, Norwegian sweaters, black leather and pajamas. They looked great, and I believe that burying some of them in a suit would have been a crime.

When I die, though, please bury me in a nice suit. Fold the handkerchief in my breast pocket just right, and make sure my tie has a nice dimple in the middle.
(originally posted 12/19/08)

Embalming: Part 3, Stagecraft

http://www.maxinebeuret.com/pages/funeralparlor1.html

Ross Hollywood Chapel, Portland, Oregon

In the two previous installments of this series, I discussed the transformation that takes place in the appearance of the deceased with embalming, and the temporary preservation that embalming allows.  Now, in part 3, I'll discuss 'stagecraft'.  Although not part of the embalming procedure, these finishing touches are an essential and often misunderstood part of the preparations for viewing the deceased.

At the funeral parlor, careful steps are taken in presentation for a family's viewing of their departed.  Usually the day before services are held, it's time for 'hair, makeup and wardrobe', or as is listed in a funeral home's federally mandated General Price List, 'Other Preparation of the Deceased'.

When we look at a person, a whole host of factors make them recognizable to us, and when any of these pieces don't match our memory, the rest don't quite fit together right.  Hair is a big one for women, and often, even for men.  Whenever possible, the funeral director arranges for the hair dresser who worked on the person in life, to prepare their hair for the funeral.  If this is not possible, we rely on photos.  It is not unusual for family members to come in to prepare hair and makeup.  This can be a difficult thing to do, but I don't think anyone ever regrets having done it.

   

http://raarooree.blogspot.com/2009/01/busby-berkeley.html

Busby Berkeley-Stagecraft

Makeup is one of the most misunderstood aspects of preparation, and heavy handed funeral directors and embalmers are largely to blame.  In some communities, people have come to expect a 'funeral pallor' of caked foundation, waxy orange lips and greasepaint in the Broadway tradition.   I think that the fear of bad makeup is often a factor in families choosing a service that does not include viewing.   

In most cases, when the embalming work has been done well, very little makeup is needed.  Good embalming practices include the use of pigments that replace some of the reddish tones that the circulating blood provides in living tissue.  A light layer of foundation and some highlights complete this effect while leaving the texture of the skin, and natural variations in skin color and freckles visible.  Certainly there are times when more opaque makeup must be used to conceal trauma and jaundice, but good makeup work should be as invisible as possible. 

Many women have told me that when they die, they would like us to use their favorite makeup brands and colors.   This sounds like a good idea, but we are not starting with the same skin tones in death that they start with in life, so adjustments need to be made.  The majority of our work is just bringing back the original appearance of the skin as it would have looked in life before any makeup was added. Because of this difference, the foundation we use often has more pink than they would use to achieve the same effect. Similarly, a light brush of foundation and touches of red on the lips, nose, ears and eyes will make a man look like he did in life with no makeup on. 

In addition to hair and makeup, wardrobe and scene construction are a part of presentation at the funeral home.  These preparations take a surprising amount of time and skill to achieve a comfortable and well turned out appearance.  Clothing that the family brings in may or may not have fit recently, but in either case, good preparation involves alterations that make those garments appear comfortable and well fitting.  I have been told that news anchors have their suit coats altered (sometimes only temporarily,) so that they appear to fit correctly in a sitting position.  Similar steps are taken with collars and lapels for people lying in state.  Sleeves and cuffs are carefully positioned prior to placing the deceased in the casket so that the folds stay neat and attractive. 

Arranging for a comfortable appearance in the casket is another task that takes more time and skill than most would guess.  More than just a box, the casket is the setting in which a person is viewed.   Padding, mattress levels, the drape of fabric and arm supports are adjusted until the deceased is shown to their best advantage.   The skills of the undertaker create the appearance of the deceased lying at rest and comfortable in a setting that is soft, dignified and exactly the right size.

 

If done well, all these aspects of stagecraft go unnoticed, and the viewer is allowed to focus on their loved one.  They are not distracted by unusual skin tones, unfamiliar hair styles, ill-fitting or uncomfortable looking clothes, a stiff, awkward posture, or a setting that looks unnatural.  They see what they have come to see- not makeup, casket or artifice, but the familiar face of the person they miss the most, and the arms and hands they recall hugging and hugging them back.  They see that person at rest and at peace, and if the undertaker did a good job, they might never guess how much work went in to making everything look so natural.   

Embalming: Part 1, the transformation

2/24/09

http://www.nancyburson.com/pages/fineart_pages/earlycomps.html

Two photo composites by Artist Nancy Burson in a project dealing with cultural conceptions of beauty and facial features

Embalming is a topic that nearly everyone has an opinion on, but few know much about. This post is a beginning point to understand the process and results of embalming. In future posts, I will explore more of the issues involved in embalming and the other tasks involved in preparing the deceased for a viewing.

As an apprentice, my first impression of embalming was the transformation it made upon the deceased. I noticed that when the dead arrived at the funeral home, they looked, of course like people, but not like specific people. They seemed to lack their distinguishing features. They were pale and their features were drawn back, mouths and eyes open, they were usually needing a shave and a hair cut. As the embalming preparations moved forward, the features gradually returned, and I began to see (or even recognize) what that person had actually looked like.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gatochy/304569010/in/set-72157594241441748/

The glow of Health as pictured in vintage Japanese magazine covers via Gatochy

The first few steps often made the most dramatic changes. The eyes and mouth were closed and set into natural expressions, the person was bathed and shaved, hair washed and combed. Then the embalming fluid was introduced, flushing out discoloration and returning a firmness to slackened cheeks and lips. The pigment in the fluid began to bring back the glow that once shone from oxygenated blood flowing through capillaries below the surface of the skin.

http://deathsweeper.blogspot.com/

Duotronic embalming machine

At this point, under the care of a skilled embalmer, the skin tone, expression and facial features of that person had returned to a very close approximation of the way they appeared in life, and I was amazed, because I could see the person. In addition to the vast improvement in sanitary issues, I could see the character and personality of a specific person who, only a few hours before, had looked like they could be anyone or no one. This made an impression upon me. The fact is that it is a much different experience to be around and to look at a person who has been embalmed, and one who has not been embalmed. I am confident that if people really knew the difference first hand, almost everyone without a religious or philisophical prohibition against embalming would choose it without a second thought. The difference is that vast.

http://flickr.com/photos/gatochy/453038753/

In life, our cheeks, laugh lines and other features make us recognizable and express our unique character. Above, a picture of Portuguese personality and beauty via Gatochy

http://www.ioffer.com/i/46514211

You could argue that Chet Baker looks like he's already dead in this photo from the documentary film of his life "Let's Get Lost", and in fact, he died shortly after this picture was taken, but I think that the photo shows the personality that lines and other facial features give to a person's appearance. These features are lost due to the effect of gravity on the facial features of a person who has died, and not been embalmed.

Today, people have many decisions to make during funeral arrangements, and whether to embalm or not is one of the big ones. Legally, a private family viewing can take place without embalming, and many people choose this route, or choose not to view at all. Whatever the choice, people should be aware of what they are getting, and in my professional opinion, they are getting a better look at the deceased if the funeral home staff is allowed to do their work prior to viewing.

Part 2, Temporary Preservation

Part 3, Stagecraft