Has There Ever Been a More Beautiful Funeral? A Gem from 'Yorkshire Pudding'

Participation in funeral rites is one of the most powerful and healing things we can do and witness when we lose someone we love. Individual participation can take the form of placing a note in the casket, sprinkling ashes on the sea or selecting music for the service. Community participation can take the form of a wake or a public procession. However, as this following excerpt from the 'Yorkshire Pudding' blog shows so eloquently, there is nothing quite like engaging in the hard physical work of digging out a place in the earth and carrying a loved one to their place of rest, or the timeless gift of sharing a word or song with family and friends at the grave. My heartfelt thanks to YP, for allowing me to share the beautiful story of his brother Paul’s burial in County Clare, Ireland.

Paul

We buried him in an isolated rural cemetery that is known locally as "The Island" - probably because that little hummock of a hill was once surrounded by swampy ground. As is the tradition, only male family members carried the coffin. Feeling his weight on my right shoulder was a wonderful discomfort.

He had known each of the gravediggers. They had prepared a hole some five feet deep, snug against the limestone boundary wall with a huge pile of Clare soil beside it in what has been one of western Ireland's driest years.

Ned Crosby, the priest, who also knew Paul personally, said the customary religious words by the grave. And then everybody applauded my dead brother. By the stunted hawthorn bush where an ancient chapel once stood, musicians played familiar tunes on fiddles, concertinas and pipes with Paul's daughter, Katie, accompanying on her wooden flute.

All was quiet and then an old friend called Michael stood on a rock with his chin raised slightly to the sky and with great passion recited in Irish Gaelic a famous poem called "Pearse's Lament". Roughly translated, it begins:-

Grief on the death, it has blackened my heart:

lt has snatched my love and left me desolate,

Without friend or companion under the roof of my house

But this sorrow in the midst of me, and I keening.

As I walked the mountain in the evening

The birds spoke to me sorrowfully,

The sweet snipe spoke and the voiceful curlew

Relating to me that my darling was dead.

At the end Michael wove in some few Spanish words which connected Ireland's freedom struggle with the battles of Spanish republicans before the second world war - "Viva la quinta brigada! No passaran! Adelante!"

People began to drift away. Some stood amongst the graves exchanging thoughts about Paul. I took a handful of earth from the pile and threw it on top of his coffin. Soon the gravediggers removed the flowers and began their timeless task, quietly filling in the hole where Paul will rest forever - well not really Paul but his human remains - that same wax model I reflected on in "Hands".

It was the best of days and the worst of days. Has there ever been a more beautiful funeral? I doubt it. I was filled with pride for my lost brother who was so loved by the people of Clare - the old and the young, rich and poor, intellectual and moronic, pub landlords and priests. Although he was only sixty two, he lived his life to the full with such goodness in his soul. By far, I am not the only one who will never forget him.

'YP'

All photos and text used by permission. For more wonderful Yorkshire Pudding, visit the blog at http://beefgravy.blogspot.com/

Promession: A Return to the Living Soil

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008

Promessa Organic AB of Sweden is developing a new method of disposition for the dead called 'promession'. Promession is described as an environmentally friendly form of burial, and could in fact be the greenest of green disposition options. In addition to its green credentials, promession is offered as a more ethical option than cremation or burial. Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak, biologist and head of operations at Promessa Organic AB recently gave a very interesting and inspiring presentation at the 90th annual convention of the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) and agreed to discuss promession with me for this post.
The process of promession involves a promator, freezing human remains in liquid nitrogen (a byproduct of the compressed oxygen produced already for medical purposes.) Once frozen, the casket and remains are agitated with a shaking motion from a table below them, causing them to shatter into tiny pieces. These pieces are then freeze dried to remove all the moisture from them. Metals are then separated, and after being laid in a biodegradable coffin can be buried, returning all the nutritious components to the soil.
I asked Ms. Wiigh-Mäsak how she came to develop this process. She is both a biologist, and an engineer, and has been keenly interested in gardening and science since youth. A special interest has been composting, and she is careful to point out the difference between decomposition and rotting. According to Ms.Wiigh-Mäsak, proper composting involves decomposition, which requires the same conditions that sustain life: air, proper moisture and proper temperature. These conditions allow for a substance to break down to the nutrient level that can replenish the earth's living soil, and are necessary for enzymes and microorganisms to do their work as well. The alternative to decomposition, says Wiigh-Mäsak, is rotting. Rotting occurs when the remains are too large for the air and soil to act upon their surface readily enough to break down in a positive manner. In the case of rot, the body's substances return to the earth, but not in a form that is enriching and replenishing to the living soil.
Because of her deep interest in composting, Ms. Wiigh-Mäsak was struck by the idea that kitchen scraps are treated with more reverence than the bodies of our loved ones. The nutrients of an apple core, that have been taken from the earth, can be returned to it through proper composting techniques, but the six and a half billion human bodies that have drawn life from the living soil are destined to burn off, rot away or lock away their nutrients, rather than return them in a positive way to the earth.

1. The corpse is frozen down to -18 °C.

2. The coffin with the deceased is lowered into liquid nitrogen. The body becomes very firm and brittle.
3. The coffin and the body are exposed to a light vibration, disintegrating into dust.
4. Mercury and other metals are separated using an induced magnetic field.

5. 25 - 30 kg of the powder now remains. This is put into a coffin made from maize starch or potato starch.

6. The starch coffin is buried shallowly and will turn into compost in 6 - 12 months' time. A tree can be planted on the grave. It will then absorb the nutrients given off.

Combining her interests in biology and engineering Ms.Wiigh-Mäsak developed the promession concept. She argues that this process in essential for the health of the living soil as well as an appealing and respectful disposition of the dead. According to Ms. Wiigh-Mäsak, even direct burial in a shroud is not as positive for the earth because the mass of the body, and the amount of moisture left in it prevents proper decomposition and results in rotting. What is truly different about promession is the process whereby the body is broken down to a point where the proper composting and a positive return to the living soil is accomplished.
Ms. Wiigh-Mäsak describes the actual physical process of promession to be something that is appealing to witness, a process that even a small child could watch and not be disturbed or frightened.

So, how far away are we from having promession as an option to choose from? Promessa is currently preparing for operations in South Korea, where laws have been passed to allow for this form of disposition, and promession has been embraced by the Christian Church there. Sweden is also getting closer to allowing promession as an option. Leaders of many religious denominations have determined that promession is consistent with the tenets of their faith. As far as the future of promession in North America, laws must be passed to allow for promession, and Promessa is currently in the process of selecting licensees and promession providers.

For more information on Promessa AB and promession visit the web site at http://promessa.se/index_en.asp

Trimming the State Budget with Cremation

Chain Gang Burial

Cremation, once considered by a majority of Americans to be a punishment worse than death itself, has now been embraced so widely that in many areas of the United States it is the prevalent form of disposition.  A recent post, Buried by a Chain Gang, highlighted the incongruity of indigent people being accorded  a level of care and ceremony in their state sponsored burials that many wealthy Americans have chosen to do without.  This window of incongruity is, however, closing fast.

Rhode Island Governor, Lincoln Chaffee's recent proposal to cremate the indigent persons in the state's care and custody is a step that will inevitably be taken all over the United States.  States have historically borne the ultimate responsibility to provide the minimum level of a dignified disposition for those who die under their  auspices, and now that our culture's conception of a dignified disposition has been lowered, the treatment of the indigent will drop accordingly

Exceptions will be made for those whose religious beliefs prohibit cremation, but elected officials will not be able to justify for long the provision of a higher level of death care for prisoners than what is selected by the majority of their constituents.  Again, it is not as though the indigent wards of the state have enjoyed fancy funerals; they are and have been provided with the cheapest possible direct burials that can be performed.  It's just that society's standards have dropped even lower. 

Don't Bury me in a Suit!

www.kansan.com/photos/2008/mar/27/2185/

When we picture a funeral in our mind, or see one portrayed in a movie, its usually a pretty formal affair. The men are all in dark suits and the ladies are in long black dresses. For better or worse, the reality is often very different. At many funerals and especially visitations, very casual clothing has become the norm, and that's why I am often surprised when families mention so sheepishly that they would rather dad not wear a suit in his casket.

Personally, I think this situation is completely backwards from the way it should be. When we attend the funeral services for someone else, it's about them, and we should dress respectfully. We don't need to necessarily go out and buy something new, but if we own something nice, we should by all means go to the trouble of wearing it to the funeral and visitation.

http://homepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~clanboyd/cassidy.htm

When we are at our own funeral, it's about us, and if we never liked to be in anything but our bib overalls, that's what we should be buried in. There are some people who would never want to be caught dead in a suit. If they are alive, they can dress up out of respect for the occasion, but when they die, don't let them be caught dead in that suit.

http://www.archives.gov.on.ca/english/exhibits/agriculture/big/big_81_farmer_portrait.htm

I've buried people in their bib overalls, jeans, military and athletic uniforms (they often don't fit like they did 40 years ago), cowboy duds, Norwegian sweaters, black leather and pajamas. They looked great, and I believe that burying some of them in a suit would have been a crime.

When I die, though, please bury me in a nice suit. Fold the handkerchief in my breast pocket just right, and make sure my tie has a nice dimple in the middle.
(originally posted 12/19/08)

Mass Graves in New York and Haiti: Disposition and Disposal

Mass Burial in Haiti

In the wake of catastrophic earthquakes in Haiti, government officials have made a difficult and unpopular decision to bury the bodies of thousands of unidentified victims in mass graves. The dead are left in the street where they are loaded like so much garbage into dump trucks. The trucks file into the landfill all day long, dumping the bodies into pits as fast as they can be excavated, and then the graves are filled in with earth as well as time permits.

Due to this policy, families will lose forever the opportunity to identify their loved ones. They lose the chance to say goodbye and to take part in many of the comforting rituals that help them deal with their grief, and which allow them to return back to life. Religious leaders in Haiti and all over the world are raising their voices together against this practice, but so far it has had little effect.

No one wants to make a decision like this, and not being aware of the logistics involved I will refrain from criticism. It could well be the case that there is no other feasible alternative. Certainly the dead cannot simply be left to decompose in the street, and as devastating as it is for survivors, the focus of limited rescue efforts should be on the living. Avoidable or not, though, this is a horrible tragedy.

Metal debris from the World Trade Center

In New York, we find a striking parallel. At the Fresh Kills landfill on Staten Island, debris deposited from the World Trade Center attacks on 911 has been shown to contain human remains. Families of the victims allege that authorities knowingly mishandled and co-mingled remains of the victims; plowing them into the landfill and even using them in road repair and construction projects. They have sued to have the debris removed from the landfill to allow for sifting out and identifying whatever remains are left, but so far, have not sought damages. Courts have disputed the right of families to sue without being able to identify the remains of specific victims.

The WTC families are in much the same situation as the Haitian survivors. They have been denied the opportunity to identify their loved ones, to say goodbye, to perform the rituals of their faith and traditions. They have had no say in where their loved ones are laid to rest, and must visit them at a landfill.

Workers sift through the debris at Fresh Kills

In our society today, more and more of us choose to dispose of our loved ones. We scatter their remains to the wind, or leave them unclaimed in the closet of a funeral home. We think we can forgo the rituals of the past., "Don't cry for me" "Don't let anybody look at me" "Remember me as I was" "Don't go to any trouble" "Just throw me in a ditch", these are the things we say to each other. We don't understand why anyone would want to cry over our body, or set flowers on our grave, or have to take the day off work to sit in a suit and get all choked up.

The need to say goodbye to our loved ones becomes obvious, though, when we see the heartache experienced by those who are denied the opportunity to do so. The need for a place to visit becomes clear when we see the WTC families going to a landfill to be near their loved ones. The need to engage in meaningful rituals is apparent when we realize the suffering of families who cannot perform the rituals of their tradition due to catastrophes like 911 and the Haitian earthquake.

So let us be grateful that we do have the opportunity to say goodbye, and let us pray for those who don't.

For the ABC News story on Haiti's mass burials, visit abcnews.com

For stories on the litigation and consequences surrounding WTC debris at Fresh Kills landfill, visit NY Times and NY Press

Artwork for this article was based on photos from abc.com and the EPA

The Foreign Cemetery: Far from home

10/24/2009
Foreign Cemeteries and special foreign sections of cemeteries can be found all over the world. Due to economic circumstances, logistics or a stated preference, foreigners are buried where they die rather than return home for burial. Some died in a military campaign, some are ex patriots who consider the new land to be their home, and some died on their journey to the new place and have never known life there.

In any case, a foreign cemetery is a special place that helps us to remember how important a cemetery can be. It is stirring to think of the lives of adventure that have ended so far from where they began, and how a little patch of soil in a strange land is almost a part of another world.

A separate Japanese Cemetery sits in the middle of Rose City Cemetery in Portland, Oregon

In the middle of the historic Rose City Cemetery in Portland, Oregon, where I once worked, sits an even older Japanese Cemetery that feels like a tiny piece of Japan. Stepping in from the sprawling wooded Rose City Cemetery with it's beautiful, but conventional, American monuments, through the gates, and into a tightly packed rectangle filled with exotic shapes and script always started me thinking of homesickness and longing for home; of relatives who may never have learned of the fate of their kinsmen in a new world.

The Gates of Yokohama Foreign General Cemetery

A poem on the gates reads:

The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power,
And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
Awaits alike th'inevitable hour,
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.
Thomas Gray (1716-1777)

Across the world on a bluff overlooking Yokohama, sits a counterpart to Rose City's Japanese Cemetery. The Yokohama Foreign General Cemetery's first resident was an American sailor who died before ever reaching Japan. In addition to Americans; many Russians, Germans, British, Dutch and others rest in Yokohama, but not quite in Japan.

Here is a history from the Cemetery's home page:

In the mid 1800's the city of Yokohama was only a small fishing village with a small population. Yokohama's road in the becoming a modern day metropolis began in the 1850's when this country was still bound by a strict isolation policy, which was enforced by the Tokugawa Shogun-ate, literally making Japan an off-limits area for the rest of the world. When Commodore Perry arrived with his black ships (Kurofune), they demanded that Japan renounce the national isolation and open up its ports to the world. Consequently soon after the Japan-America Friendship Treaty was signed at the Yokohama village. Japan was no longer a sanctuary for the Tokugawa Shogun-ate, with the isolation policy shattered it was the sign of the beginning of the fall of the Tokugawa-Bakufu (government by the shogun-ate) and the introduction of the Western industrialization in Japan. It was around this time that the Japanese government had allocated in the Yokohama's Yamate area (Bluff) a sizeable area of land to be used as a cemetery for the foreign nationals who were living in Yokohama.

Resting in a home far away from home

With the news of Japan officially being opened up as a port, the city became in a manner of speaking a melting pot of the nations. Citizens from a multitude of nations came to the city, many consulates were opened and foreigners flocked to the city in the hope of establishing new business ventures, there were teachers engineers and merchants, people from all walks of life came to the city. It is not an exaggerated remark to state that these people were in a manner of speaking the Founding Fathers of the City of Yokohama and perhaps the pioneers of making the country of Japan what it is now today. As the influx of foreigners continued, the population of the city began to increase exponentially and in just a manner of 20 years the city of Yokohama became a major trading port of the world

As time passed, history witnessed two World Wars and the Great Kanto Earthquake also devastated the city of Yokohama. From around this time the number of available plots in the cemetery slowly dwindled and today regrettably there is only a extremely limited number of plots left.

From the late 1800's the cemetery was operated and maintained by the Yokohama Foreign General Cemetery Executive Committee. The committee, which is comprised by an all-volunteer staff, is responsible for the finance, maintenance, upkeep, and the daily operations of the cemetery.

A statue of Mary watches over the graves of foreigners in Yokohama

Recently Ianin Maloney wrote a piece that illustrates beautifully the emotional impact and importance of these cemeteries. Following is an except. For the whole article, visit Japan Today

A view of the Russian section of the Foreign Cemetery

During difficult times, it is always comforting to know that you are not alone, that others have stood where you stand, have gone through what you’re going through and come out the other side. Regardless of how adventurous we feel when first we board the plane that takes us from home, the route that is new for us is nonetheless well traveled. While it is sad to say there is nothing new under the sun, there is often safety in numbers. This feeling, this understanding of the part we play in the unfolding of history, returned to me with increased clarity recently when I visited the Foreign Cemetery in Yokohama.

These men, and the hundreds of others here, came to Japan to seek fortunes, knowledge, adventure, and never left. As I stand and read the names, dates, hometowns, my imagination is filled with daydreams of men my own age stepping from their ships into an amazing new world, full of hopes and fears, confronted by many of the issues I have dealt with in making Japan my home. Language, culture, the daily struggle to get by, to learn, to fit in. Some things never change.

It is rare that we can step outside our subjective bubble and locate ourselves in some kind of context. For me, Yokohama Foreign Cemetery is a special place because the peace and tranquility, as well as the reality of the bodies fading to nothing beneath the grass, allow me that privilege. Between the gravestones and monuments I can read the continuity of existence. I can see bonds between me and the generations that have gone before. I can glimpse for a moment my station in humanity.

A view of Modern Yokohama from the Foreign Cemetery

Closing, Lowering, and Giving Dirt

http://www.shisso.org/archives/cat_daily_rant.html

As an undertaker, each family I serve has different ideas about what their service should be like, and I follow their wishes.  Most often, people want something similar to what they've seen before.  There is a comfort for grieving families, whose world has turned upside down, in following familiar rituals, and despite all the buzz about personalization, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of tradition and ritual.  

Another part of my job is to suggest new things to families that, in my experience, have helped others.  I try to encourage participation in the service,  and the consideration of rituals that may be new to them.

As I have discussed in previous posts, traditions that are considered normal and appropriate in some places can seem disturbing in others.  The traditions of closing a casket in front of family members and watching the casket as it is lowered into the grave, followed by sprinkling a handful or shovel of earth into the grave,  are not as extreme to people where I work in rural Wisconsin as a sky burial or promession would be, but many here  say they couldn't bear to do any of them.

Where I used to work in Portland, Oregon, watching as the casket is closed and again, as it is lowered are regular parts of the service, and I think that they can be healthy and meaningful for grieving families.  In the Jewish tradition, among others, family and friends sprinkle the casket and grave with earth.  This is a wonderful symbolic act of participation in the burial and accepting the reality of death.  At my father's burial, I shoveled some earth into his grave, and even at the age of 8, it was a moving and cathartic experience for me.  

One of the most important things a funeral does is to allow the grieving to accept the reality of death in a safe and comforting atmosphere.  Participation in the rituals helps us to perform that last loving service for the deceased, and that in turn allows us to accept emotionally, the reality of the situation, so that we may in time move on back into life.  In our minds, we know that the person is dead, but our hearts are reluctant to accept this unpleasant fact.

Watching and helping with these tasks can be emotionally demanding, but I believe it makes the rest of the journey that much easier.  We will certainly cry when we do it, but those emotions need to be expressed and worked through, and the funeral can be the best time to do it. 

Buried by a Chain Gang: White Tanks Cemetery

http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

White Tanks Cemetery

In a fascinating article from 2007 for the ezine of the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication, Angela Le documents the burial of indigent residents of Maricopa County by a sheriff's chain gang.

It is a sad situation for the dead to be buried by conscripted strangers in a desolate desert cemetery. However, I am struck and deeply moved by the fact that a poorly funded county has determined that even the least of it's residents deserves the basics of a respectful burial and a solemn ceremony. I am reminded of the protocol used in ground zero when even a small portion of a victim's remains were discovered. Work stopped and all present stood at attention as a hearse slowly drove that precious piece of a person from the site. The public would not think of allowing a less respectful treatment of an unknown person, yet so many of us decide not to 'make any fuss' when a person we know and love dies, even when funeral services are well within our means.

Here is an excerpt from Ms. Le's article

http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

Sister Mary Ruth Dittman is one of the few who pray at a child’s grave.

When there’s no one to care, chain gangs bury the poor and the unknown of Maricopa County. Half an hour west of Phoenix, a chain-link fence encircles a desolate gravel lot. The sign out front says “Sheriff’s Chain Gang at Work.” Inside are hundreds of rows of coaster-size brass markers engraved with real names or simply Jane Doe or John Doe.

This is White Tanks Cemetery, the indigent burial site where Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s chain gangs bury more than 300 bodies a year. Since 1994, the site has received more than 2,984 bodies, including babies. There are no trees or grass or a sense that anyone comes to visit—other than a few scattered artificial flowers and a small American flag and Teddy bear resting next to the only headstone.

White Tanks Cemetery is funded by Maricopa County taxpayers. “Therefore, every expense is either standard or very minimal,” said Roger Coventry, a deputy of the Maricopa County public fiduciary. The public fiduciary determines who is considered indigent.

http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

A chain gang prisoner prays at a burial in White Tanks Cemetery.

Toward the back of the lot, 15 women work together to lift a blue casket out of a van and prepare it for burial. They wear military boots and black-and-white striped shirts and pants with a pink shirt underneath. This is the only female chain gang in the country.

“It made me sad when I helped lower the body in the grave and saw there was no one here for him and wondered what he did that would have led to this,” said Bernita Bentley. She volunteered for the chain gang to get out of the “hole” (prison lockdown). “It made me think of my family and if something like that would ever happen to them.”

This ceremony was for James Bell, who had died of coronary artery disease. He was buried in the cemetery because no family members claimed his body.

A chaplain recited the 23rd Psalm 23 and sang “Amazing Grace” with the chain gang members, interrupted every few minutes as squads of five jets from Luke Air Force Base flew over. “I don’t even notice the jets any more,” said Kevin Blair of the Maricopa County’s facilities management.

Male chain gang members represent the family as they lower a casket.

Blair and his staff used to bury the bodies until the chain gang took over 18 years ago. “The services have become less significant, and we [staff from facilities management] became indifferent when the bodies were buried,” he said. Blair and his staff still come to the burial services every Thursday.

The chain gang members represent the deceased’s family and friends. Malantha Sanchez called this an honor. “When you’re a child of God, you can represent anybody. They are like my brother or sister.”

http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

A round brass marker is the only way for a family to identify a grave.

Since the county doesn’t want to spend a lot of taxpayer money, it provides only the bare minimum for burials. Although more expensive, the county decided to do burials rather than cremations because of liability for any fault that might occur. “Typically people don’t sue for a burial,” Coventry said, “but if there’s a problem, then we can do disinterment and other arrangements can be made. The families can authorize a cremation if they want to.”

Sister Mary Ruth Dittman of Phoenix has been coming to the burial services in the desolate gravel lot every Thursday since 1991. “I was expecting lush green grass,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting this.” While reading the obituaries one day, she noticed the name of a 13-month-old baby. “[I] thought it was a baby I had cared for once at one of the hospitals I volunteered at,” Sister Ruth said. “I found out where the funeral was and attended.”

Every Thanksgiving, Michael Santoro holds a candlelight vigil with other volunteers from André House, a Phoenix ministry for the homeless and poor. “We pray for those who have died in the last year and place flowers over their graves,” Santoro said. “We believe there are three deaths—the death of the body, the soul and then the memory. We want to do this candlelight vigil to preserve the last death … the memory.”

http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

It took all 14 women to lower James Bell’s casket. The chaplain sprinkled holy water on the casket while a woman at either end of the grave threw dirt on the casket. After Bell’s service, the female chain gang prepared for the next five burials. The chaplain flipped back the pages in the Bible to the 23rd Psalm.

for the complete article, visit http://cronkitezine.asu.edu/fall2007/whitetanks1.html

Together Forever

http://cosmicblob.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_archive.html

When I was an apprentice, the directors told me a story that has shaped the way I view funerals and family requests to this day.

Sometimes it happens that two people who are very close die at nearly the same time. Maybe it's just the odds, like an adoptive couple concieving a child, or maybe once one dies, the other loses the will to continue. Whatever the case, we've all heard of times when one spouse dies and a week or month later, the other passes away too.In this case, a mother and child passed away within a day of each other. The child was an adult with a profoud developmental disability, and had been cared for lovingly for many years by her mother. The two were inseperable and their survivors wished to have the two buried as they had lived- together. Not only did the family want them in the same grave, but in the same casket. They asked their funeral director to help them with this and were told that it was illegal, and the funeral home could not assist them with their request.

http://davidsonmarbleandgranite.com/markers/images/together_forever_1293.jpg

Undeterred, the family called upon another funeral home and encountered a different attitude. Our funeral director told them that he would investigate, and that if it was possible they would follow the family's wishes.

As it turned out, the request was unusual, but did not violate any laws or regulations, and as long as the family members approved (they did,) mother and daughter could be together.

The directors embalmed the mother with her arm out so that she could hug her daughter close to her, and they were placed together in an oversize casket for their service and burial.

What was the difference between the two funeral directors? One saw a problem that wasn't worth pursuing, and the other saw the beauty and love behind this unusual request. They couldn't promise at first that it would be possible, but it was certainly worth trying. That mother and daughter were worth it and that family with the unusual request was worth it too.

They Bury Horses, Don't They?

http://www.ivyhousefloral-designs.co.uk/sympathy%20page%202.htm

http://claibornefarm.com/media/

It is a well known fact that some people are more attached to their animal friends than to human members of their families. Horses, and especially Race Horses, engender some very deep attachments with their owners, jockeys, and fans. Recently, racehorse Princess Rooney, was offered a burial place of honor at the Kentucky Horse Park. She will join the many other celebrated horses that are memorialized there. The first horse to get this treatment was Man 'O' War.

http://claibornefarm.com/media/

Known as "Big Red," this legendary chestnut Thoroughbred was born in 1917 and raced in 1919 and 1920. Man O' War passed away on November 1, 1947 after suffering a heart attack. More than two thousand people attended the funeral, which was broadcast by radio. The great stallion was the first horse to be embalmed and he lay in state for several days in a specially made casket lined with his racing colors (black and gold), the first horse ever buried this way. http://www.personal.psu.edu/staff/k/a/kah19/manowar.htm

http://claibornefarm.com/media/

At Novodevichy Cemetery, the Ordinary Trumps the Grand

http://travel.webshots.com/photo/2976611990033992640rAiXjD

Raisa Gorbachov Monument at Novodevichy Cemetery with Columbarium niches in background

http://www.sacred-destinations.com/russia/moscow-novodevichy-convent.htm

Novodevichy Convent

Novodevichy Cemetery (Новодевичье кла́дбище) is Moscow's third most popular tourist site. It has a park-like ambience, dotted with small chapels and large sculpted monuments. The cemetery was built next to the Novodevichy Convent immediately upon the convent's completion.
The cemetery was first used primarily as a burial place for Moscow's feudal rulers and church officials. Later it came to be used for Russia's intellectuals and merchants, while in the 20th century, it was the burial place for many of the Soviet Union's most well-known citizens. Today, the cemetery holds the tombs of Russian authors, playwrights, and poets, as well as famous actors, political leaders, and scientists. More than 27,000 are buried at Novodevichy. -from http://www.sacred-destinations.com/russia/moscow-novodevichy-convent.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Grave_N._S._Krushchev.jpg
The Grave of Nikita Kruschev "We will Bury You!"

While the monuments of the famous and powerful provide a wonderful history and art lesson, these photos of the niches of lesser known Russians, taken by Dedushka Nomto at Novodevichy Columbarium, are quite striking as well. The changes brought about by time and the elements give these portraits the haunting quality of distant memories. Perhaps this documentation of ordinary life can teach us more important lessons than the broad sweep of history.

http://community.livejournal.com/urban_decay/2109922.html

http://community.livejournal.com/urban_decay/2109922.html

http://community.livejournal.com/urban_decay/2109922.html

For more photos by Dedushka Nomto, visit http://community.livejournal.com/urban_decay/2109922.html

New Life Breathed into Graveyard in Scotland

http://www.henniker.org.uk/images/places/scotland/mid-west/ladiesrock02.jpg

Ladies Rock, Stirling Cemetery, Scotland

Cemeteries are treasures and need to be preserved. They are museums, parks, and as is pointed out in the following article from BBC News, 'pleasure gardens'. When people say that cemeteries are wasted space, I wonder what could possibly be a better use of space than a peaceful historic park filled with memories.

http://flickr.com/photos/scallopboy/2175956434/
Tomb in Stirling Cemetery

New life breathed into graveyard
Work to restore the unique character of Stirling's ancient Old Town cemeteries is set to begin in August. It is hoped the individual character of burial grounds, which date from the 16th Century, can be reinstated. The £1.7m project, being steered by Stirling Council, is expected to be completed by July next year.
The work will include the restoration of the cemeteries' original "gardenesque" style as well as restoring stone and iron work. Records show that the area, which sits in the shadow of Stirling Castle, was used for many of the town's social gatherings in the 17th century.
The entrance to the site is also marked by the Church of the Holy Rude where James VI was crowned.
Pleasure garden
Local councillor Jim Thomson said it was vital the cemeteries were restored sympathetically.
He said: "The site bridges both the pre and post reformation periods in Scotland and, interestingly, the gardens were not laid out solely as a burial ground but also as a pleasure garden for local people." The project will form part of a vision to make Stirling's Old Town one of the most attractive urban heritage sites in Europe.

From BBC News. For the full article, visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/tayside_and_central/7510139.stm