An Angel with a White Face

Every town has a few very interesting and eccentric characters. For any number of reasons, and often for reasons that are unknown to anyone but the people themselves, their appearance and or behavior is markedly different from the rest of us.

Local legends grow around these individuals, based on rumors and gossip, in an attempt to explain why this person is so different. Usually, the person is really not so different from the rest of us after all, and the reason behind the differences is something we'll never know for sure.

Unfortunately, these individuals are often the targets of derision and cruelty, but many are regarded with great affection by their communities as well. When they die, we realize that not only could we have been nicer to them while they were alive, but that we ourselves have missed out by not knowing them better. We notice too, that our town isn't the same; it's not as rich and interesting without their presence.

Today, I came across the obituary of 90 year old Martha Davis of Davenport, Iowa. She was a fixture of Davenport, and known by many in the region for her very slow driving, thick white pancake makeup, wigs and gloves. She was also known by some for her sweet, generous nature and love of conversation.

The obituary, posted online at the Quad City Times has drawn many comments from readers who knew her and knew of her. Many just wanted to know why this beautiful black woman wore white makeup and covered her skin. Had there been a disfiguring accident? A skin condition? Heartbreak? A desire to appear to be a white woman? - we'll never know, and perhaps, as many comments suggest, it's not even the point.

Many readers recalled stories of being frightened as children, of cruel pranks and regret. Many share stories of kindness, grace, conversation, and love for a woman who taught them not to judge a book by it's cover.

To read the obituary and comments, visit the Quad City Times (the photo also comes courtesy of the QC Times.)

For the story behind Mrs. Davis, reporter, Bill Wundram has been kind enough to allow me to use excerpts from his November 22 article 'The Woman in the White Face'.

She was known not by her name, but by her face. For 50 years she was “the powder puff lady,” or “the clown woman,” or more starkly, the woman who always wore a white face.

She puzzled most everyone, but was a gentle friend to many. However and whatever, she was the Quad-Cities’ most unique personality.

Now, Martha Davis of Davenport is dead at 90.

True to her wishes, she was laid to rest Saturday with her face in white makeup.

She was an enigma. Martha was a black woman who chose to cover her face in heavy white makeup. It was so thick that it often looked like white pancake batter was spread over her face. She would not bare her hands. Always, even on the hottest summer days, she wore white gloves.

She would shop at Walgreen’s or Aldi in white makeup, wearing one of her assortment of wigs — some flowing black, some curly, often an outrageous blonde. Often, her white cheeks were rouged in bright red. People stared, usually shocked, but Martha would shrug them off as if nothing about her was unusual.

Even after talking to dozens of people, mostly relatives, the reason for Martha’s white makeup is not clear. The riddle was buried with her Saturday at Oakdale Cemetery, after services at Bethel AME Church, Davenport.

FAMILY MEMBERS agree that they don’t know why she chose to look white. They say it was her secret. One says it began in the late 1950s. Of all the reasons, the most logical one comes from her niece, Darlene: “She always wanted to be an angel. Angels are white, and that’s what she wanted to be, an angel.”

Martha’s sister, Lula Rose of Rock Island, says, “She just liked to do it; that’s what she wanted.”

Those who knew her said that despite eccentricities, she was a good neighbor, a kindly person who loved to talk endlessly on the phone. One remembers seeing her, about 1990, at the old Fun Shop in Davenport. She was buying makeup.

Her niece, Darlene, says, “Aunt Martha always said, ‘Promise, put me away right.’ ”

Darlene says she was put away right, in smooth white makeup and wearing a frosted blonde wig.

The McLaren Minute: Remarkable in its Orthodoxy

Lennon may be everywhere, but he is also nowhere;

McLaren is at Highgate.

Master publicist and Punk Rock Impresario, Malcolm McLaren's funeral and its attendant 'minute of mayhem' was a milestone in the history of funeral rites. The coverage of this ritual event and the commentary that surrounded and followed it was extensive, so I won't repeat the details here, but to remind my gentle readers that Mr. McLaren's spray-painted casket was paraded through London, following services at a deconsecrated church, that mourners were transported in a festooned double decker bus to Highgate Cemetery for burial, and that Mr. McLarens' wish for a minute of mayhem in his honor was communicated by his son, and celebrated creatively by his fans.

It must certainly be said that this was a creative, expressive and remarkable funeral, but what is most striking is how closely to established tradition it clings. This is not for a lack of imagination, nor is it an accident.

When John Lennon, a revolutionary of a different stripe, died 30 years before McLaren shuffled off his mortal coil, a much more radical departure from tradition occurred. The public was encouraged to celebrate and mourn him wherever they happened to be, in whatever manner they chose, using whatever focal point they thought to be appropriate. Mr. Lennon's mortal remains were nowhere to be seen, and although an enormous gathering assembled in Central Park, as well as individual shrines in front of the Dakota building, none of this was endorsed, authorized or led by Mr. Lennon's family. The service was everywhere and nowhere; everything and nothing. It was a break from the constraining as well as the comforting and defining traditions of the past.

Not so with McLaren. Certainly his minute of mayhem was a departure from the traditional minute of silence, but it had much more in common that an amorphous 'do your own thing, man'. The community of the bereaved were unified and comforted in a collective act of remembrance as meaningful and powerful as any solemn or religious rite. The coffin, spray-painted with the McLaren slogan "Too Fast To Live, Too Young To Die" shouted "I'll do it MY way". McLaren's way, though, was the way of his fathers and grandfathers. Carried by an honored group of relatives and associates, he was placed in a special ceremonial vehicle, and transported in a very public manner to his permanent place of rest. In contrast, Lennon was slipped away silently and secretly in an ordinary transport vehicle by who-knows-who, privately cremated, and then off to who-knows-where, for who-knows-how long. Lennon may be everywhere, but he is also nowhere; McLaren is at Highgate.

A service held at a deconsecrated church has a lot more in common with a service at church, than an open invitation to do whatever you want wherever you want. Remembrances and eulogies, and a recording of Sid Vicious singing 'My Way' bring a community and a family together to remember and share the burden of loss. They do this just as effectively if they are using four letter words and a few repeated notes on an electric bass, as would communion, a homily and 'How Great Thou Art' played on the organ. In fact, all of the important elements of a meaningful funeral were present at McLaren' s service.

Just as Punk Rock needs something to be angry about, something to rebel against, something to contrast with, McLarens' funeral needed those traditional elements to riff off of, to bring what is important into focus. Let's not forget that Sid Vicious sang Frank Sinatra and Eddie Cochran. It may not have been your grandfather's music, but it wasn't the sound of one hand clapping either.

In thirty more years, McLaren's service will seem more like Queen Victoria's than John Lennon's, but I hope it doesn't seem foreign or revolutionary to us then. If our funeral traditions in thirty years don't have the timeless elements of participation, ritual, community and public acknowledgement of the loss, we will have, as the Sex Pistols lyric goes, "No Feeling".

Closure for a Soldier's Family

"Vietnam Soldier's Burial Brings Closure" was the heartwarming headline in Sunday's Amarillo.com. Usually in funeral service we avoid the term 'closure'. Closure can imply that everything has been resolved and grieving is over, but we know that it never really ends.

Certainly in this case though, a very difficult chapter has closed for a grieving family, and they can begin to move forward in life again. When families are denied the opportunity to say goodbye to their dead, to accept the reality of the situation, to have a meaningful ceremony and a place to visit their loved one, we realize just how important these things are.

Unfortunately all over this country, families are choosing not to say meaningful goodbyes and are choosing not to inter their loved ones in permanent places, and they suffer because of it. Here is an excerpt from the article.

Spc. Lawrence Lee Aldrich is one of the 58,000 men listed on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, killed in his 20th year when a 750-pound bomb landed on his position in the middle of a firefight May 6, 1968. Until last year, he also was one of the 1,700 men whose remains weren't recovered during or after the 10-year war in Southeast Asia.

But one day last autumn, a day almost no one in the family thought would come, a day Larry's dad died waiting for, the government called Aldrich's oldest surviving sibling and told him his brother no longer was missing. "It took me several weeks to recover," said Darwin Aldrich, who was two years younger and graduated from high school just days after Larry's death. "It opens up your head to a lot of memories and your heart to a lot of emotions that haven't been experienced in a long time."

The family had a memorial service in 1968 and another one in 1996, the second one an attempt to bring closure for Aldrich's aging father. But no gravestone marker existed for Aldrich, no place to visit on his birthday, no place to put a flag on Memorial Day. On Saturday, though, Larry Aldrich was buried in a family plot at Greenwood Cemetery outside downtown Fort Worth. His siblings had his casket placed on top of his father's.

"Part of my dad's heart believed that Larry had been killed," said Janine Peck, Aldrich's younger sister, who lives in North Richland Hills. "But it's very hard to come to grips with something when you don't have anything to grip. There's always a little part of yourself that believes there's still a chance that they were wrong. Dad held on to that chance until his dying day."

for the full article, visit Amarillo.com

Ask the Undertaker: Ashes and Apple Trees

5/18/09

Dear Pat,

So I was thinking, people have things buried with them all the time, right? Is there a right or wrong list for what is acceptable? I remember the Ripley's 'believe it or not' story about the apple growing out of the grave that it was buried in... Anyway, I want to be cremated and my wife wants to be buried. She also wants us to be together. Can our daughter bury my ashes with her if I go first? Also, as a businessman, would you charge extra in that case for putting two people into one grave?

Thanks! Ari

Dear Ari,

Personally, I would love to have an apple tree grow out of my grave, but I'm not sure who would want to eat the apples! This question actually comes up a lot, and many people put things in caskets or send items along with a person to the crematory. I think that it can be a great way for people to express how they feel about their loved one, and a way to honor things that were important to them. The only guidelines I would worry about are safety for the living and respect for the dead. I posted an article on this subject in November called "You Can take it with you". As far as the plans for you and your wife, it all depends on who dies first. If you die first, your family can just hold on to your cremated remains until your wife dies. Then, a family member or the funeral director can place your cremated remains in her casket for burial together. This is a practice that has become pretty popular these days, and there should be no additional charge for this from the funeral home. You may end up with an additional administrative fee from the cemetery for record keeping, as they are required to maintain their records forever. Most cemeteries will allow at least one additional cremated remains to be buried in the same space, so if your wife dies first, you should still be able to be buried together. Check with your cemetery to find out their policy. Usually limits on the number of burials in one grave are based on leaving enough room for everyone's name on the marker, rather than how many remains could actually fit in the grave. If your ashes are buried on top of your wife's casket, you will have an additional opening and closing charge for that service from the cemetery, and the charge from the funeral home for their services at the cemetery as well. Most cemeteries and funeral homes will charge a lower fee for their services in the case of cremated remains because there is less labor and equipment required. Sometimes, burial requests get even more complicated. In November, I posted another story, 'Together Forever' about a mother and child who died only a few days apart. The family wanted them to be buried in the same casket.

Best regards,

Pat McNally, Undertaker

Someone Else's Dead: Improving on Gladstone

3/7/2009

http://www.artchive.com/artchive/M/millais/millais_gladstone.jpg.html

William Gladstone, portrait by John Millais, 1879

“Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land and their loyalty to high ideals."

These are the famous words of Victorian British Prime Minister, William Gladstone.  Gladstone proposes a good test of loyalty to high ideals, but I think that an even greater test would be the manner in which a nation treats someone else's dead.  At the time Gladstones words were uttered, the British Empire was disturbing ancient burial sites all over the world.  Sacking their treasures and hauling their remains to European museums.  In fact, Egyptian mummies were ground up for use as pigment in oil paints.  Perhaps some of these were used in the portrait of Sir William Gladstone that is shown above.   

http://www.megomuseum.com/legend/mmmummy.html

Is it just me, or is there a striking resemblance between Gladstone and the Mummy doll? 

In the news lately, there have been a few stories about Native American tribes demanding their dead back from museums, and in one case, a secret ivy league club.  I hope that as a people we have grown up enough to recognize that the dead from other cultures, places and times deserve the same reverence as our own.

Here is an article from the newspaper I delivered as a boy, The Times Union:  

Ancient remains to resume journey

State Museum to yield 1,000-year-old bones to Onondaga Indian Nation

 By PAUL GRONDAHL, Staff writer 

ALBANY — After a dispute that dragged on for years, the State Museum will repatriate 1,000-year-old bones of 180 Native American people in its collection to the Onondaga Indian Nation as early as next month.  "We expect those ancestors to come home soon so they can resume their journey to the creator," said Joe Heath, a lawyer who represents the Onondaga tribe in repatriation and other issues. "They belong in the ground. Nobody wants their ancestors dug up and treated like museum pieces."  The skeletal remains will be placed in plain pine boxes and sent to a burial ground behind a longhouse on the Onondaga Reservation south of Syracuse, and re-buried.

A federal review panel ruled in favor of the Onondaga tribe last fall as part of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Review Act.  "We're going to go through with the process," said Clifford Siegfried, director of the State Museum, who said the earliest repatriation could take place would be at the end of April because of reporting rules in the law.  The dispute dragged on because the State Museum holds nearly 900 ancient human remains in storage. Scientists want to be careful about setting a precedent for what happens to the rest of their archaeological holdings, even though most of the bones are not actively studied.

The remains in dispute were unearthed in the late 1960s during construction of Route 17, about 60 miles from today's Onondaga reservation.  "We want to put them back into the ground as close as possible to where they started, but we also want them in a protected burial site so this tragedy doesn't repeat itself," Heath said. 

http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=776974&category=REGION

Forest Burial in Germany

http://math.hws.edu/eck/cs324/s04/lab4/

Yes, that tree is looking at you

Germans now have an option for burial in a forest that funtions like a cemetery.

This excerpt from an article by Christina Sticht follows a group as they shop for their trees.

A Final Resting Place in a Quiet Forest
Traditional Christian funeral rites are becoming less significant in Germany. More and more people are deciding in favour of alternative forms of funerals. Many are turning to forest burial grounds, where urns are buried at the roots of trees in the countryside.

Death is not for free, it is more costly than life. Forester Fritz Mewes knows that, and so do the 46 men and women whom he is taking on a guided tour of Reinhardswald, the woodland burial ground in Northern Hesse. They march along a muddy forest track, clad in bright cagoules and walking boots. Most are somewhere between 60 and 70 years of age, but some are younger. They are all here to see whether they would like to be buried in this place.
Mewes talks about money first. The starting price for a small beech is EUR 3,350. An old oak with a broad crown costs EUR 5000 or EUR 6000. You can choose between family trees, friendship trees and community trees, with the latter offering burial sites for EUR 770. Mewes says, "If you buy a tree, it belongs to you until the year 2099. You have to rebuy a tomb in the cemetery after just 20 years."
Seen like that, woodland burials are relatively inexpensive, especially since no money is needed for constant care of the grave, or for candles and flowers. Pictures and crucifixes are not allowed in the forest – the tree is marked only with a numbered label and a small sign which may bear the name of the deceased, a saying, a verse from the Bible or a Christian symbol.

No burden for the children

Lieselotte Hosung thinks a resting place in the woodland burial ground is definitely more dignified than an uncared-for grave in the local cemetery. She would like to select a tree with her husband, today if possible. "We are thinking of a young beech tree." Burial in urns is compulsory in the woodland burial ground. "I had to get used to the idea of cremation," said the pensioner. But she likes the idea of finding her last resting place in the forest. "We have known the Reinhardswald for a very long time and often come walking here." Her children have no objections. They do not live locally, and the Hosungs do not want them to have to ask a gardener to look after the grave.
Mewes turns off the wide forest track and takes the group into the forest. A small path wends its way past birches, larches and beeches. It has stopped raining. The sun is coming through the treetops and the wet leaves are glistening. You can breath more freely in the forest and it smells of earth, sap and herbs. You can hear a woodpecker somewhere in the distance.

http://thevoltagegate.blogspot.com/2007/01/festival-of-trees-7.html

Talking to trees

"Many people buy their tree when they are 50 or 60," says the forester. "They come to visit it regularly." Just a moment ago, he was like a businessman, juggling figures and using rational arguments about good value for money. At the beginning of the guided tour, one would never have thought him capable of the soft touch. But now Mewes says, "Before you choose a tree, you should put your arms around it and speak to it. I am entirely serious. It is important that you build up a relationship with your tree."
Each urn is buried beneath the tree’s roots so that the ashes are absorbed into the tree’s nutrient cycle. Lieselotte Hosung thinks that is a lovely idea. She will be back, like most of those who have visited the woodland burial ground today.
-an excerpt from an article by Christina Sticht for the Goethe Institute- for the full article, visit
http://www.goethe.de/ges/phi/dos/rkd/en128025.htm